Firsts
by LivForever
Summary: Brian and Olivia experience several firsts together while watching their daughter grow. From first smile to first boyfriend; Olivia and Brian share the joys of experiencing it all together.
1. Chapter 1

Olivia Benson sat in the bathtub with the water cascading over her body. Her swollen belly stuck out through the bubbles and she winced when she felt a kick against her bladder. "Please don't be a soccer player," she whispered to her little girl. The candles that she had lit flickered and caused shadows to spur across the bathroom walls. She sank further into the water to get warm as a slight breeze drifted through the room when Brian opened the door.

"I thought I would find you in here," he smirked as he leaned against the door frame, "how are my two favorite girls doing?"

"Tired," she admitted with a small smile, "tired and very hungry." She brought her hands out of the soapy water and rested then on her tummy. "Every time I tried to take a nap today she decided to kick the hell out of me."

"I was thinking lasagna for dinner, does that sound good?"

"Sounds great," she responded as she pulled the plug and watched as the water began to swirl down the drain. "Will you help me up?" Brian pushed off the door frame with his shoulder and held out his hand to steady her. Her large baby bump had been getting in the way of a lot of things lately and trying to climb out of a slippery tub by herself just wasn't a smart idea. When she was out and standing on the bathmat, Brian handed her a towel and she dried off.

"Want me to help you put your lotion on?"

"Mhm." Olivia sat down on the bed and tossed the towel to the floor, opting instead to wrap the fluffy comforter around her. She reached over to her nightstand and pulled out her favorite bottle of lotion, handing it to Brian. He climbed on the bed behind her and squirted some of the cherry smelling lotion into his hand.

"How's your back been feeling today?"

Olivia shrugged. "It was hurting this morning and it hurts a little now." Brian placed his hands gently on her lower back and began rubbing in the lotion, careful to be gentle on the spots he knew were extra sensitive. Olivia moaned. "That feels so good." Brian continued to massage her until her body was smoothly covered in lotion.

"Thanks, babe." Brian gave her a quick peck on the lips before leaving the room so she could get dressed and he could start dinner.

For the past eight months, Brian had watched as Olivia's body changed with the growing fetus inside of her. Her stomach had extended and her breasts became fuller as her feet swelled and her face became rounder. She was truly glowing and everyday he would tell her just that. The pregnancy hadn't been an easy one. The first trimester was awful with Olivia hovering over the toilet every morning and evening, vomiting up whatever food she managed to get down. The second trimester brought swollen feet that hurt to stand on and every night Brian would rub them until Olivia was content. The third trimester was going smoothly so far. The swelling feet were still present and back aches were common but Brian did everything he could to make her feel at ease. He couldn't wait to welcome their little girl to the world. As he worked in the kitchen to get the lasagna into the oven, he thought about names. They had discussed several but one that Olivia had mentioned stuck out in his mind.

"Hey, good looking," Olivia teased as she walked up behind him and grabbed his ass. Something about a man cooking turned her on.

Brian gave her a smirk as he put the casserole dish into the oven. "Shouldn't be too long now," he promised. He knew not to keep food from a pregnant woman. "Want to watch a movie?"

Olivia shook her head and wrapped her arms around Brian's neck. There was a spark in her eyes and Brian knew what she wanted. Her hormones were crazy out of whack and she wanted sex at the craziest of times. "Now?" he questioned.

"No," Olivia said, "I'm too tired. Can we just cuddle?" She stuck out her bottom lip partially and it was the look that Brian couldn't resist.

"Of course." Olivia snuggled close to Brian on the couch and he wrapped his arm around her, gently stroking her hair.

"How was work?" Olivia inquired.

"The usual," he responded, "a bunch of dirty cops."

Olivia chuckled. "Your mom called today. She wanted to know if she could come over tomorrow. I told her she could stop by anytime. I figured she could stay for dinner or we could all go out."

"She's probably going to come bearing gifts," Brian stated.

"That's okay," Olivia added as she moved her hands instinctively to her belly, "we like gifts."

"I was thinking," Brian announced, "of names again."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You said you liked the name Gracelyn and it's been stuck with me ever since. Her nickname could be Grace or Gracie."

Olivia smiled. Gracelyn had been her favorite name on the short list she had made and she was secretly hoping that Brian would choose that name too. "Gracelyn Maya Cassidy." She smiled as the name rolled off her tongue. "A perfect name for a perfect little girl. I can't wait until she gets here."

"You're not nervous about the delivery anymore?"

"Of course I am," she admitted, "but I'll be happy when she's finally here. I keep imagining what her cries are going to sound like and who she's going to look like..." a smile formed on her face and she turned to look at Brian who was smiling as well.

"Well John is betting that she looks like you so, let's hope she looks like me." Olivia swatted him playfully on the chest.

"I miss him. I miss work."

Before Brian could respond the timer went off letting them know that the lasagna was done. It had been hard for Olivia to go on maternity leave but Fin assured her that he would keep the others in line and make sure they didn't terrorize the new commanding officer too bad. She often brought up how much she missed work and every time Brian gave her the short talk about how soon their baby would be born and she wouldn't even think about work. Olivia was convinced otherwise. SVU would always be a part of her.

After dinner, Olivia washed the dishes and put them away before brushing her teeth and climbing into bed. She silently prayed that Gracie would finally let her sleep because she could barely keep her eyes open. "Goodnight," Brian whispered as kissed her lovingly, "goodnight," he said again as he lifted her nightshirt up and kissed her belly.

"Goodnight," she said mumbled through a yawn.

Brian turned the lamp off and the room turned dark, leaving only the lighting from the neon green numbers on the clock. He stayed awake until he knew Olivia was asleep and that didn't take long at all. He had been sleeping deeply until he woke up to something wet touching his leg.

"Brian," Olivia said panicked, pulling Brian out of his still sleepy state, "my water just broke."


	2. Chapter 2

Olivia had been immediately taken to a room on the labor and delivery floor of the hospital and was now waiting for her doctor to come in and examine her. Her contractions were still far apart and she was concerned that she was three weeks early.

Brian stood beside the hospital bed and gently stroked her hair so it would remain out of her face. His job during the whole labor process was going to be to keep Olivia calm and to help her get through it with the least amount of pain possible. He was hoping it would be an easy delivery.

"Ow," Olivia complained as her nose scrunched up and she squeezed her eyes tight. She reached for Brian's hand and squeezed it until her knuckles turned white. When the contraction passed she let out a slow, steady breath and opened her eyes.

"Y'okay?"

"I'm just worried," she answered honestly, "she's three weeks early."

"She is going to be just fine," Dr. Forbes announced as she walked into the room carrying Olivia's file. She walked over to the machine that was recording Olivia's contractions and examined the paper. "Are the contractions getting stronger?"

Olivia nodded. "A little, yes."

Dr. Forbes helped Olivia get situated in a position so she could examine her cervix. She was only four centimeters dilated and was warned that it could be a long time before they welcomed their baby into the world. "I'll stop by about every fifteen minutes to see how things are going along and if you need anything, just press the call button."

Olivia nodded her thanks and then turned to Brian who was still holding on tight to her hand. "Did you text your mom?"

"Yeah, she's on the train right now."

Several hours had passed since Olivia's water broke and the contractions were gaining intensity. Olivia was curled onto her side with the blankets kicked off of her. Her hair was in a sloppy pony tail and the pieces that wouldn't stay up were sticking to her face. "Ahh," she groaned as another wave of pain coursed throughout her body. She squeezed onto the railing of the bed as Brian rubbed her lower back.

"You're doing great," he soothed, "I'm so proud of you."

"She's never going to come out," Olivia complained as the pain lessened.

Brian stayed silent and just paid attention to his back rubbing. He knew well enough to not get on Olivia's bad side during the labor process because she would likely bite his head off. He just wanted to make her as comfortable as possible; which was becoming harder to accomplish. His mother had gone to get her some ice chips and that seemed like forever ago. He wondered if she had gotten lost.

"I need to stand up," Olivia stated as she swung her legs over the side of the bed.

"Uh, are you sure that's allowed?"

Olivia shot him a death glare. "I don't really care if it's allowed now you either help me stand up or I'll do it myself."

Brian clamped his mouth shut and offered his assistance at helping her stand. She thought she could get some relief by standing and walking but it only made the pain worse. "I need to lay back down," she whimpered as another contraction began making it's way through her. She held on to Brian's arms tightly as the pain took her breath away. That's when he saw the unmistakeable tear marks trailing down her puffy, flushed cheeks.

"It shouldn't be too much longer," Brian tried to assured her as he helped her lay back down in the bed. "I wish the doctor would hurry up with that epidural."

"You and me both," Olivia huffed. She closed her eyes and relished in the brief moment of peace before her next contraction. "Do you think your mom got lost?"

Brian smirked, "knowing her, probably."

"I really want those ice chips..." Olivia looked at him with the saddest look he had ever seen and he couldn't resist. "I'll go find her." He kissed her temple and promised to return quickly.

While he was gone, Dr. Forbes entered the room bringing along with her the equipment for an epidural. "I just need to check how far you are before we start the epidural, okay?"

Olivia nodded and opened her legs so the doctor could see how much she had dilated. Her contractions had been coming closer together and had risen in intensity but she hadn't been keeping track of exactly how close they were. Dr. Forbes pulled away and gave Olivia a small smile. "You're eight centimeters," she announced, "we can go ahead and give you the epidural but it takes about forty-five minutes to kick in and I don't think you have that long."

"What?" Olivia felt like she was going to cry. She tried to fight the burning sensation but she just couldn't and the tears leaked out. "I can't," she said weakly, "I can't do this."

Dr. Forbes gently patted her arm and assured her that all first time parents were nervous but she knew that Olivia would do just fine. Another contraction hit her just as Brian and Joanne returned with the ice chips. Brian rushed straight to her side and offered her his hand to squeeze. She breathed through the contraction and fell back to her pillow when it was over. She explained to Brian that there was no time for an epidural and Brian was silently cursing the doctor. If she would have stopped by thirty minutes ago when she was suppose to, there would be time for Olivia to have the beloved pain medication.

Another contraction hit Olivia hard and she yelled out in pain. "I need to push," she growled to the doctor, "she's coming."

Dr. Forbes and her team of nurses quickly suited up and were gathered around Olivia's bed. Joanne had grabbed a cold wash cloth and was standing above Olivia's head, wiping the sweat and trying to keep her as cool as possible. Olivia had a death grip onto Brian's hand as the nurses helped hold her legs and she began to push.

"You're doing great, sweetie," Dr. Forbes announced, "on the next contraction I need a big push and she'll be out."

Olivia took a deep breath before the next wave of pain jolted through her and she pushed with all of the energy she had left. When she heard the tiny cries of her little girl her own tears fell again. "It's a healthy baby girl," Dr. Forbes announced as she placed the baby onto a blanket that was draped over Olivia's stomach."

"She's beautiful," Olivia cried as she watched the doctors cut the cord and clean her off. They took Gracie to be measured and weighed and as soon as they were finished they brought her back to Olivia. Gracie was swaddled in a white blanket with a tiny pink hat over her head. "I precious," she whispered to the sleeping infant, "welcome to the world."

Brian fought to keep his tears in check as he stared at his little girl and his wife. The two women that meant everything to him. He felt a pat on his back and turned to give his mother a hug. "You did good," she whispered.

"Your turn," Olivia said as she carefully passed Gracie to Brian. She watched as Gracie opened her eyes and looked right at Brian. Olivia could have sworn that Gracie smiled. She was so happy to finally welcome her little girl into the world and now that she knew everything was okay, she let her exhaustion take over.

As the night went on, Joanne went to Olivia and Brian's apartment to clean it up so they were ready to come home the next day. She would stay the night there and surprise them with a gift when the arrived early in the morning.

While Olivia slept, Brian held Gracie close to him as he rested on the couch. "You have the best Mommy in the world," he whispered, "we can't wait to take you home and watch you grow up." He smiled as Gracie squirmed in his arms.

"She has the best Daddy in the world, too," Olivia mumbled as her eyes opened slightly. She was still exhausted but when she heard Brian talking to little Gracie she had to stay awake long enough to listen. "I love you."

"I love you too, Olivia. I love both of you so much."


	3. Chapter 3

**Olivia hadn't slept in five days and she was beyond exhausted. Someone at Brian's precinct had gotten fired so Brian had to go back to work sooner than expected and Olivia was left with Gracie at night. Just as Olivia's head contacted her pillow and she closed her eyes, the tiny screams filled her ears yet again. She groaned and made her way to the bassinet to pick Gracie up. **

** "****Why won't you sleep?" Olivia cried, "it's been five days! I'm so tired." Tears spilled down her cheeks and she had no control over them. The lack of sleep had taken over and she knew she was losing it. She was still wearing the same pajamas she had on two days ago that had stains of spit up. She sat down on the edge of her bed with Gracie in her arms, rocking her gently. She had tried everything and Gracie only wanted to sleep during the day. Olivia tried to catch sleep whenever she could but there were so many things around the house that needed to be done. Gracie constantly needed things washed and Brian needed his work clothes clean and then a whole separate load for towels. **

**"****She awake again?"**

**Olivia looked up, startled, as Brian entered the bedroom. "Yes," she cried, "I know it's not her fault but I'm so exhausted! I just want an hour of sleep. That's it!"**

**Brian smiled sadly at Olivia and her frazzled nerves. He had asked off of work early because he knew that Olivia needed a break. He took Gracie from Olivia's arms and rocked her gently, finally getting her cries to subside. "I've got her," he said, "you get some sleep."**

**Olivia nodded thankfully and fell back onto her pillow, closing her eyes immediately and instantly fell asleep. **

**Brian carried Gracie into the living room and turned on the music channel on the television. The soft melody played through the speakers as Brian rocked and patted little Gracie. Her eyes began to droop close so Brian kept doing what he was doing. When he was sure that she was fast asleep he stood up carefully and carried Gracie back into the bedroom, placing her in her bassinet. Olivia was snoozing and that was made evident by her soft snores. **

** "****Both of my girls are now sleeping peacefully," he whispered as he planted a kiss onto Olivia's cheek. He crawled into bed next to her and wrapped his arm around her, missing the comfort of getting to sleep next to her. They were never in bed at the same time anymore and it looked like that wasn't going to change anytime soon. Gracie started wailing once again, waking Olivia from her slumber.**

** "****I'm coming," she mumbled sleepily. She glanced at the clock before scooping Gracie into her arms.**

** "****I would have gotten her," Brian commented.**

**Olivia sighed, "unless you miraculously grew breasts full of milk I don't think that would go over well." She sank back onto the mattress and lifted her shirt up, adjusting Gracie into the right position for her to latch on. When Gracie was content and sucking away, Olivia rested against the headboard.**

** "****You're perfect."**

**Olivia shook her head. "Brian, I haven't slept in a week. I haven't brushed my hair. I'm wearing the same clothes I was wearing two days ago. The laundry is piling up and we are out of coffee." **

**Brian could hear the tears coating her throat and he hadn't realize until now just how exhausted his wife truly was. "Liv," he said, "we have the breast pump somewhere in the house. I will find it first thing tomorrow morning. You can pump some milk and I will watch Gracie for the day while you sleep. I know you think you can run forever without sleep but, you can't. I'll get some coffee tomorrow too."**

**Olivia sighed, "I love you."**

** "****Love you too."**

**The next morning, Olivia rummaged through the house searching for the breast pump. After an hour she finally found it hiding in the bottom of the hall closet under a package of diapers. She pumped eight bottles, just to be on the safe side and stored them in the fridge. Brian had left earlier with Gracie and promised Olivia that he would be fine watching Gracie on his own for the day. With the house still a mess, Olivia laid down on the couch and closed her eyes, letting sleep overtake her and hoping for more than a few minutes.**

**When Brian returned from the grocery store he unpacked the bags and put the groceries away. He left the coffee sitting on the counter so it would be the first thing Olivia saw when she woke up. Gracie was fast asleep in her carseat so Brian went to work at cleaning the house. He figured it would be a piece of cake. All he had to do was throw the dirty clothes into the washer and clean the dishes in the sink. What he didn't realize was Gracie would fuss several times while he was trying to finish that task and each time he would have to check on her. **

**Hours passed before Brian finally finished and Gracie had been awake for sometime now. He grabbed a bottle out of the fridge and scooped her out of her carseat, plopping down on the couch by Olivia's feet. He looked at the clock and saw that it was pushing five in the evening. As we was burping Gracie, Olivia started to stir next to him and when she opened her eyes he smiled. "Did you have a nice sleep?"**

**Olivia stretched her arms into the air, "I sure did. What did you two do today? Stayed out of trouble, I hope."**

** "****I cleaned the house."**

**Olivia looked at him like he suddenly grew another head. "You what?"**

** "****I did the laundry, the dishes, went grocery shopping, it's all done."**

** "****I knew I married you for a reason," she winked.**

** "****Ouch," Brian joked, "that hurt."**

**Olivia sat up and scooted closer to Brian, happily accepting his kiss. "Thank you. Now we can do this again in another week."**

**Both of them laughed and Olivia rested her head on Brian's shoulder, watching as their little miracle happily slept in her daddy's arms. **


End file.
